As seen on TV! Take an in-depth look!
Tired of whiny haters, toxic gamers, salt shakers and easily-triggered special snowflakes on the Internet? The BUTTHURT CREAM will rub them the right way!
The competition can stick all ineffective ingredients (such as Nobelium, Uranium) up their [CENSORED]! The secret behind BUTTHURT CREAM's revolutionary formula, developed deep in the Siberian tundra, lies in natural, organic ingredients. No preservatives, no GMOs, no toxicity, no nothing!
The bottom line is that you'll help all haters leave their whining behind and your mom will get rid of all those pesky 13-year-old admirers for good. Try it now!
Does it work? You bet your a$$ it does!
DISCLAIMER: The packaging might differ slightly, so don't get butthurt over it.
No-life extract (ἀζωτικός) (78.09%), phlogiston-deprived chemical element (20.95%), lazy-ass gas (ἀργόν) (0.93%), the stuff used in electrical fire extinguishers (0.04%), ｅｖａｐｏｒａｔｅｄ ｄｉｈｙｄｒｏｇｅｎ ｍｏｎｏｘｉｄｅ (up to 4%)
Works just as well, there's no need to get physical! Just send this link: https://i.imgur.com/w1Qk6hl.jpg to the friend in need.
* 13-year-olds can experience libido loss.
* The offending party might actually shut up.
* In extreme cases, the recipient might brutally violate your no-returns policy as there's a good chance your gift might not sit well with them.
* SOMEONE MIGHT GET RECT LOL
* The tube's design might be too cutting-edge.
WARNING: The advanced sealing plug™ is meant for the tube only.