Behold the Kickmen

BEHOLD THE KICKMEN started as a silly Twitter joke, and evolved like a beautiful flower into the year's least-exciting and mostly-incorrect Football Simulation. It's football, as seen through the eyes of someone with no ...

About Behold the Kickmen

BEHOLD THE KICKMEN started as a silly Twitter joke, and evolved like a beautiful flower into the year's least-exciting and mostly-incorrect Football Simulation. It's football, as seen through the eyes of someone with no understanding of, or interest in, the Laws of Football.

Start at the bottom of the Big Boring British Football Spreadsheet system and grind your way up, gruelling match after gruelling match, to become the best at the football that anyone's ever seen, and win the World Cup for your mantelpiece.

Key features:

Kicking,
Passing,
Tackling,
Squad Management
Doing Goals over and over.
a full Story mode, crammed with overblown melodrama and inane decisions to be made.

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Behold the Kickmen